“I always enjoy talking to you.”
A colleague said this to me today, followed by some additional comments about our conversations always being positive that I didn’t get verbatim, because I was so struck by the significance of the simple initial statement: I always enjoy talking to you.
As the wise philosopher Conan O’Brien once said, “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” For me, relationships are an amazing thing. Connecting with a colleague on a personal level beyond whatever project we’re working on is an amazing thing. Making someone feel important or valued is a very amazing thing.
Kindness is one of my core values, and while it may sounds trite, I truly believe that it can change the world. As Brené Brown discusses in her book Dare to Lead, values aren’t a choice but rather a definition of who we are in our lives. There are so many things I wish for my daughters and am working to teach them, including bravery, diligence, inclusion, and humor, but there is no question in my mind that raising kind girls into kind adults is the most important of all. My husband wouldn’t agree with this, and that’s ok, he has different core values, and that’s one of the many reasons that we make a great team.
Leslie Knope and Ted Lasso are my spirit animals, and while they are fictional characters, I aspire to their very real qualities, mostly the way that they make people feel. Leslie celebrated and remembered everything and made everyone feel important. While my memory isn’t nearly as sharp as hers, I can still celebrate the little things and the achievements of others to raise them and make them feel important.
And Ted, oh my, Ted Lasso. Y’all, if you haven’t watched Ted Lasso, this is a direct endorsement to drop what you’re doing, find it on Apple TV, and settle in for a long binge. You’ll thank me later. In this series, Ted, a lovable, football coach (both American football and what we Americans know as soccer) is witty (me, not so much), optimistic (which I consciously try to be), and encouraging (I have yet to hang up my pompoms). It has become my direct goal in life to make everyone I encounter feel the way that Ted Lasso makes people (i.e. the fictional characters on the show) feel. Because really, there’s enough negativity in the world, and it doesn’t take large acts to be the good.
It means so much to me that a colleague appreciates my positive attitude, because it takes work. I feel ridiculously fortunate to be employed in a field that I am passionate about (using technology to drive change and improve employee/customer experience), but goodness, the work is hard, the hours are long, and the expectations are unreasonable. The irony of working in change management is also that I struggle with the consistent change, which gives me empathy for those I’m coaching through the change - those who are directly impacted by whatever transformation I am leading. While I am an optimist by nature, staying positive while being beaten down is a skill, one to which I have to stay dedicated.
Science has also proven the power of positive thinking time and time again with mental and physical benefits including reduced stress, better cardiovascular health, and better resistance to illness. Details on these benefits and how to practice positive thinking is available through the Mayo Clinic.
Please seek professional help if you are experiencing depression, thoughts of suicide, or feel like you need support. I am not a healthcare professional, and positive thinking does not replace professional care. The National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) offers a free help line to answer questions, offer support, and provide guidance on practical next steps.
Kindness is free - throw it around like confetti. Every day can be a party worthy of confetti if you choose: use the fancy dishes, wear the shoes, take pictures (I’m personally working on this one), and be generous with your kindness.